Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
