so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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