That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize