And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
