So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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