how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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