He disabled his match.com account in front of me
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
