just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
