My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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