you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just googled if crying burns calories
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Your penis caused this!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize