Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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