hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
