No awkward lesbian experiences without me
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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