I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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