Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
