no you cant smoke seaweed
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We're too hungover to prance.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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