why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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