its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
