i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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