i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
