Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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