when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
