why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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