If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
