Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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