Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
