i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
