Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
