She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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