She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
