The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
