He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
