just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
