so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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