i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
