Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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