You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
