My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
