The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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