I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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