then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
