a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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