In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
