words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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