DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize