I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
