So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize