Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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