There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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