I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
