hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Yo dont text me then not text me
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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