Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
