why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
