yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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