i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
