You're so nebulous sometimes
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
