508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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