she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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