No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
