This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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