Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
