awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
