You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
